


Seasons

by burn0utx



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Pining, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Short & Sweet, Steve needs his Bucky, Tony is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9337415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burn0utx/pseuds/burn0utx
Summary: The seasons come and go, as Steve and Bucky learn to live around each other again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My first posting!! I haven't wrote in a while, and it might show. Anyway, this is a short little one shot, with seasons as a base theme (if that's a thing).

Steve found him in the winter. He couldn’t afford to lose him again. As soon as Steve had set eyes on his old friend, he wasn’t going to let him slip away this time. He just wanted to make him better. To make him come home. _God, he missed his Bucky._  
The fight was on. He _knew_ that Bucky knew who Steve was; his gaze wasn’t as fearful as the last time they met and he wasn’t putting up as much of a fight. Still, it wasn’t an easy one, and when Steve felt the cold metal around his neck, already battered, bruised and far too tired from trying to break Bucky’s initial fight, he could’ve sworn it was all over, there and then. He couldn’t decide whether Bucky’s arm or the snow that was melting into his clothing was colder.  
“ _Buck,_ ” He managed to breathe out. Their gazes were locked, and he could see that Bucky’s brain was turning. Steve felt a soft sob well up into the back of his throat. “It’s _me_.”  
Bucky’s stare lingered, before he finally jumped backwards, away from Steve, landing in the snow on his ass. Steve drew in a deep breath and found the strength to push himself up onto his feet. It wasn’t as quick as he would have liked, and it hurt like _hell_ , but he didn’t want to appear so weak. Just in case.  
Bucky’s head was tilted downwards, and he was staring at the snow beneath them. Every so often you could catch a glimpse of the spilt blood between them, well, Steve figured it was probably mainly his own. Steve took a careful step towards his old friend, terrified of setting him off somehow in case he ran off again.  
“Bucky, it’s me, it’s Steve.” It took all his strength to not let his voice shake. It was ridiculous, really, he didn’t want to show any signs of weakness, _just in case_ , but he could imagine how he physically looked right now. The pain was everywhere. Once Steve was sure Bucky wasn’t going to pounce or up and run, he slowly lowered himself back down to the ground, only inches from his friend, settling his knees in the snow. Bucky lifted his head.  
“I-I-,” Bucky stuttered as he tried to think of a way to properly convey his thoughts. “ _Steve._ ”  
Steve felt his eyes starting to sting even though a wide smile was now on his face. “Yeah, Buck?”  
Bucky was silent for a while longer as he scanned his gaze over Steve, his eyebrows pulling together once their eyes met again. “I did this - to you. I d-d-”  
“Buck,” Steve interfered. He could tell his friend was having a hard time trying to process this, trying to process remembering, and god knows what other thoughts were going around in his mind. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Steve took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure how his next words were going to go down. “I want you to come home with me.”  
Bucky said nothing, but continued to stare at his friend. Steve was almost frightened by his eyes, and he broke their gaze as he drew in another deep breath, trying to think of how to explain it without sounding like he was begging. Jeez, he felt like begging, at least.  
“I want you to come back with me, so we - I can look after you. I want to help you, Bucky, I _can_ help you. I know you’ve been running from what’s left of Hydra.” The name made him pause and he felt his jaw clench up. There really wasn’t much left at all of Hydra, but there would always be wannabes and people who want to take vengeance. “But they’ll never touch you again, Bucky. They’ll never hurt you, they won’t even so much as lay their eyes on you. I _promise_ you this, I won’t let them. You remember me - can you trust me?”  
Bucky was so good at staying totally still, Steve wouldn’t be able to even tell if he was breathing if it wasn’t for the cold air. He had no idea how he was even keeping himself together.  
“You can think about it, this is your choice,” Steve continued when Bucky didn’t respond. He didn’t want it to be a choice for his friend, in all honesty he just wanted to bundle him up in blankets, get him away from this cold and bring him home. “Just come with me for tonight, _please_.” And okay, maybe the begging was about to kick in.  
“Okay.” Bucky spoke flatly, but that didn’t stop Steve from feeling his chest heave with hope. 

In the springtime, Bucky was still with Steve. Well, not just Steve, seeing as he had to stay with a bunch of other people, all with their own enhancements and abilities. Although, Bucky didn’t really stray from his room. And Steve didn’t really stray from Bucky’s room. He was very paranoid; he always needed to keep an eye on him. Most nights he fell asleep on the floor. Once or twice, with Bucky, on the bed. Bucky had awful, _awful_ nightmares, much worse than anything Steve had ever known of. And boy, his own were bad enough. This was something he was currently trying to deal with.  
Bucky thrashed and thrashed around in his sheets, making awful, _pained_ noises as the metal of his left arm whirred. Steve jumped up from where he’d fallen asleep in a chair for once, darting onto the bed. He was always scared by what he saw when Bucky had a nightmare, and he was concerned that he would turn on him at any minute. He’d had to dodge punches before, and they were definitely at full force.  
“Buck, come on,” Steve said, his voice steady and stern as he reached a hand out and let his fingers wrap around Bucky’s left wrist as the man let out a pained yell, followed by something he didn’t quite catch in Russian. Steve cringed at the noise. “Bucky,” He said, this time louder as he kept a precautious hand around Bucky’s left wrist, his free hand reaching out to press one of his friend’s shoulders into the mattress. He was never sure how to wake him up properly, but he couldn't just _leave_ him like this, to suffer all night and god knows what else. Bucky slammed his right fist into the mattress, his fingers twisting into the sheets before he awoke with a gasp and a jolt. Steve relaxed his grip and pulled away from his friend, giving him some space to recover. He _hated_ this, he couldn’t stand the afraid look in his friend’s eyes, it was honestly _scary_.  
“Steve, I,” Bucky spoke almost breathlessly, before he pushed himself into a sitting position and wiped the back of his right hand over his forehead. “Again?” “Yeah, Buck,” Steve nodded. “It’s okay, though. I understand.”  
Bucky looked away from him. He was still quite distant, to Steve and even more so to everyone else. Steve would never force Bucky to tell him about his nightmares, but he’d told him more than once that he would always lend an ear if he needed to. Some would say Bucky was stubborn. In reality, he just didn’t have that level of trust back yet. 

It was the summer of 2016, and Steve was outside talking to Natasha, as she had decided she’d needed some air. Bucky and Natasha were alike in some ways, Steve noted. Although, he could understand why she wasn’t always willing to be around his old friend for too long. Steve didn’t particularly enjoy people who’d shot him, either. That was probably a popular opinion.  
“He’s changed.” Steve stated, in a blank tone.  
“It’s not about that.” Natasha replied. “He’s a reminder.”  
“Nat, he’s not _like_ that.” Steve felt a little bad. That wasn’t _his Bucky_ , the one who had done all these bad things, he just wanted Natasha to see that too, but could understand why she didn’t. Bucky clearly remembered her, and felt remorse. Tony made a joke once, saying something along the lines of “ _see, so he_ does _have feelings,_ ”. Nobody found that funny. Tony was probably one of the reasons Bucky liked to mainly keep himself to himself, even if he was starting to come out of his shell a bit more. Natasha opened her mouth to reply to Steve, probably to gently scold him on how this is still a bad idea, when Bucky appeared next to her, scaring the bejeezus out of the two friends. He was ridiculously stealthy, even when he wasn’t meaning to be. Bucky didn’t seem to appreciate the bright, hot, summer sunshine anymore, so it was even more of a surprise to see him actually outside in it.  
“What?” Said the man in question. “I needed some air.” He finished, before stalking away from the two and onto the grass, towards a tree much further away that he could sit under. Sometimes, Steve would catch him outside, in the shade with a book. He seemed to read factual things more than anything else, and Steve could understand why.  
“You can’t even hear him when he’s walking up to you, or when he opens any doors or steps in or outside.” Natasha was always suspicious about everyone.  
“What, and you think he’s going to turn around and silently kill us all, one by one, some day?”  
“I’m not saying he’s going to do anything, but I don’t think you understand, Steve. You haven’t been trained like we have. You remember what you were taught, forever. And let’s be real, he’s a little more sensitive than I am.” Natasha then turned on her heel and headed back inside, leaving Steve to only sigh in response. He knew that. He knew all of that. But he just didn’t _believe_ anything like that could happen. Aside from Tony, this was a trigger free environment. The team were there to help him. Steve was there to help too, even if he did act like a babysitter. Steve stepped out into the sun, and made his way over to where he could make out Bucky was sat, lowering himself down next to him and settling his back against the large tree trunk.  
“Is everything okay?” He asked his old friend.  
“Yeah, there was just too much going on in there.” Bucky explained, waving his hand back to Avengers HQ. Steve took note of Bucky fingering the pages of the journal that he carried ( _everywhere_ ).  
“How are you feeling?”  
Bucky looked up and hesitated. He wasn’t the best at really understanding how he felt. When your only use is to assassinate, well… there are no other feelings. “Good.” He stated. Steve smiled. Steve’s smile made Bucky feel even better. And his laugh. And when he stayed with him. Steve was the only person allowed to even _touch_ Bucky. Bucky could trust him.  


Autumn soon came around, and found Steve and Bucky in a small, cosy coffee shop. Bucky was slowly but surely growing more confident about public spaces, and that made Steve happy. He had a mental list of places he wanted to take him, including his favourite art gallery. Bucky was becoming more open about his appreciation towards certain things. Especially having his coffee black, with no sugars.  
“I don’t know how you can drink it like that.” Steve commented. It smelled amazing, but the only times Steve had drank coffee like that was on the really _bad_ missions. Bucky shot him a small smile before looking down to his cup, lifting it and taking a gulp, followed up with a content sigh.  
“It’s good.” Bucky was one for stating the obvious.  
Steve liked this. He liked sitting with Bucky, just the two of them, in this quiet, comfortable atmosphere, out of the chilly breeze of late October, where he could watch the orange leaves fall from the window. He was getting his Bucky back, bit by bit, month by month. Nobody said it would happen overnight, and boy, had it been a tough few months.  
“What are you going as for Halloween?” Bucky followed up with, causing Steve to laugh in response. “Not that you need to put any scary makeup on that mug of yours.”  
Steve’s eyebrows shot up, before he laughed again, louder this time. There was a playful grin on Bucky’s face, his bright, white teeth gleaming away at him. “Well thanks, Buck!” And this was exactly what he meant by getting his Bucky back. The jokes, the little playful digs. He even had a glint in his eye now, he just looked more _alive_. Steve couldn’t believe this had even worked out. He’d always hoped to get Bucky back as soon as he found he’d been living as the Winter Soldier, but he always had a nagging feeling that it wasn’t going to work. Paranoia. He only seemed to experience paranoid feelings when it came to Bucky, but he was his best pal. Who would’ve thought they’d both still be here, so many years later. Some of the last from their days, and they didn’t even look as old as everyone else their age. Steve felt like the luckiest guy in the world.  
“What are you looking at?” Bucky gibed, knocking Steve away from his thoughts. Steve smiled a certain smile, the one that Bucky always called “silly”.  
“I’m glad to have you back. To have you by my side again.”  
Bucky let out a groan in response, but he couldn’t hide his smile. “Do you know how many times you’ve said that now?”  
“I know, and I don’t care. You need to hear it. You’re my best pal. When I got out of the ice, I felt awful. Everything had changed. Nobody I loved was around anymore, aside from Peggy, and gosh, she wasn’t in the best of health. But you’re here, and everything kinda feels more normal again.”  
Bucky’s smile turned sad. “Normal? I hope I get to experience that one day. I still feel like I have to look over my shoulder constantly.”  
Steve released a quiet sigh. “We’ll get you there someday. Together.”

Winter was back, and Steve counted to the day that it had been exactly one year since he had managed to track down Bucky. December 17th, 2015. He was sure he’d remember that date forever. He didn’t think Bucky remembered the date _at all_ , but he didn’t know if that was really a good or a bad thing. It didn’t matter. He was back. He was his old self, well, as much as he could be. Cracking jokes and keeping his eye on Steve, even though he didn’t have to anymore, of course. Even Natasha seemed to have grown to trust Bucky, but nobody could ever really tell with her.  
Steve had questioned himself a lot over the last couple of years. As soon as he knew Bucky was still alive, his heart had fluttered. He knew there was a chance of getting him back. His mind raced about the possibilities, but he mainly kept them to himself. Aside from when Natasha kept prodding him one day, after Steve had been pulled out of that river. Steve was almost convinced she could actually read minds, and just wasn’t telling anyone. He’d confessed to her about Bucky. How he’d felt about him way back when, and how he’d felt knowing he was alive. He spoke to her again about his feelings once he really did have Bucky back in his life, and she reassured him that it was okay, _normal_. People these days, they’re a lot more open. It doesn’t matter who loves who. Most people don’t care. But Steve never knew if Bucky felt the same, if he ever did back then or if he did now. Sometimes it played on his mind, most times he just reminded himself how thankful he was. He was glad that now, people could love who they wanted to. He almost found it funny that the only people who were really against it, were those of his generation and the one after that. His gaze flitted over to his old friend, who was sat by the window, his own eyes fixated on the gentle snowfall. Steve seated himself in front of him on the cushioned window ledge, turning his upper half to glance out of the window, before his attention returned to Bucky. A year ago that man brought out the wildest emotions Steve had ever felt. Hope, sadness, anger, at the people who had done that to his best friend at least, heartbreak and wishfulness, usually all at once. And what a rollercoaster that could be. Now when Steve looks at Bucky, he just feels… Calm. Although never quite believing the situation they were both in; not believing that their lives could be like this, right now. It was perfect. Bucky finally turned to face Steve, giving him a sincere smile, before reaching out to give Steve’s shoulder a playful pat. They didn’t always need words, they were both happy enough to simply sit in each other’s company and enjoy the silence.  
“Natasha told me.” Bucky stated.  
It took Steve an embarrassing amount of time to catch on, and he felt his face immediately turning what he could only imagine was a deep red. Steve’s breath caught in his throat, and he felt himself outright _cringe_. His reaction was only met with Bucky’s laughter.  
“It’s alright, you know? You don’t have to hide these things from me.” Bucky gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze, before letting his arm fall back down again. “You don’t have to hide _anything_ from me.”  
“I thought - I didn’t-” Steve tried to think of a quick response. The super serum did a lot, but it sure didn’t make him any smoother.  
“It’s fine, shhh.” Bucky flashed him that charming smile of his, the one that always used to make Steve’s worries go away. Steve was speechless, really. He didn’t know how to explain, and he didn’t even know how to respond at all right now. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” At least Steve could feel relieved that his best friend didn’t think he was some sort of a creep or a pervert, like he knew some of his old friends would have done. He dipped his head slightly, so he could stare into his lap instead.  
“Look at me, Stevie,” Steve almost jumped right out of his skin when he heard his old nickname. Bucky only ever used to use that when they were pulling each other’s legs. There wasn’t a hint of joking about, this time around. Steve let out a sigh, before doing as he was told. Bucky didn’t respond, he only cocked his head slightly and kept his focus on his friend for a few seconds, before he reached out with his right hand, cupping one side of Steve’s face and stroking his thumb against his cheek. _Nothing_ made Captain America weak, but this? _Oh, god_. He felt like he was going to go into one of his old asthma attacks. The ones that would land him in the hospital. Steve was sure he probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights right now.  
“I wanna try something, with you,” Bucky finally continued, and Steve had to take a breath. “Steve, Stevie, Steven Grant Rogers. I’ve loved you my entire life. I’m sure I even did, well, even through the parts of my life that I don’t like to remember. Of course I remembered you the first time I saw you. And then I came home with you the third time, right?”  
“Third time’s a charm.” Steve commented, with what Bucky would say was his smug smile.  
“Yeah, obviously you’re just so irresistable.” Bucky joked, but it didn’t really _feel_ like a joke. He meant it, but they still both laughed. Bucky ran his palm up so he could cup the back of Steve’s head, his fingers ghosting over Steve’s hair. “I think we should give it a go. You and me.”  
“Yeah?” Steve felt all bashful and submissive. Bucky really was something else to him.  
“Yeah, if you want to.”  
Steve paused, although he didn’t really have to consider his answer. “Yeah, I’d like that.”  
Next thing he knew, he felt a pair of warm lips pressing against his own. He was always thankful for everything he had, but he knew this was going to be his first good Christmas in _years_.

 


End file.
